In January of 2019, a group of my nearest and dearest friends gathered in a bar in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, to celebrate our friend Manny’s birthday. I was coming from work (at the time, I was working on a production with offices in an old art deco building above Port Authority) and what with the long work day, the crush of tourists in Times Square, and the frigid temperatures, I was looking forward to a night spent with the people who made me the best version of myself.
As I sat on the crowded 2 train heading for Brooklyn, I received a text from my friend Alex, asking if I knew Manny’s favorite dessert. He was getting to the bar early, and wanted to have a celebratory treat waiting when the birthday boy arrived. Innocuous though it was, this question left me stumped. Over the course of our decade-long friendship, I know I’d seen Manny eat hundreds of desserts…but did I know his favorite?
The traditional dessert of birthdays is, of course, cake. Vanilla, Chocolate, Funfetti— the options are endless. I, myself, am ambivalent when it comes to cake. If it’s there I’ll eat it, but it’s never elicited an “Oh, boy!” from me when it’s been wheeled out at craft services and doled out by the slice.
While I agonized over how to respond, however, a follow-up text appeared. I know he likes pie. Blueberry?
We settled on strawberry-rhubarb, and it went over like gangbusters.
This moment was the catalyst for an ongoing project that has brought me a significant amount of joy over the past five years. The premise is simple: when I’m spending time with someone and find myself thinking, “Wow, I adore you,” I reach for my phone and begin to ask two very simple questions.
What are your top five favorite desserts of all time (be as specific as you want).
What are your five least favorite desserts, the ones that make you think you’d rather go hungry.
Simple though they may be, the answers I received were anything but. The lists of favorite things ran the gamut, from incredibly vague (“cold stuff”) to unbelievably granular (“My Great Aunt Susan’s caramel pretzel bars from that one Christmas when I was 12”). Regardless of actionability, I nevertheless have an answer when someone texts me wondering what treat to get someone for their birthday.
This blog will serve as a love letter, both to my favorite people, and their favorite (and not-so-favorite) things.